Panicking

… but this time tomorrow it will all be over – unless I need to re-take – in which case it won’t be over for ages – so I will have to leave the books out, at least till Christmas. I have reached the stage where revision is doing no good at all. Today I don’t know anything about anything – which is more or less where I was this time last year – only I didn’t know it then – to be honest, last year, I felt I knew quite a lot – until I turned the exam paper over and immediately realised that I wasn’t going to be able to write about anything I felt I really knew well. I wish I knew what the questions were! That would be an enormous help!!

I am looking forward to NOT having an exam next year – and I hope I can find another course for the following year that doesn’t have an exam – but that’s all ages away. I hope I get a more relaxing nights sleep tonight – last night was terrible! When I got into bed I realised I hadn’t checked whether the back door was locked. So I lay there for ages wondering if it was worth going down to check. I was trying to remember stuff I’d revised – but the thought that the back door might not be locked – and that someone might come in and steal something (irrational because there’s bugger all to steal) – wouldn’t go away. Eventually I went to sleep, but was dreaming about going to check, but it wasn’t my house – well it was half my house – there was a weird mysterious passageway that had appeared leading to another back door – but that’s dreams for you! I woke up – still couldn’t be arsed to go and check – lay awake – and decided that if I went and got a glass of water, THEN it would be worth checking the back door. Why?!! I didn’t need water! How lazy am I if I need 2 ‘good’ reasons to get up to make it worthwhile??

Anyway – it was locked! (Typical) Went back to bed – drank some of the water – finally went to sleep – but then was dreaming I was at a quiz – and I was marking answers, but it was awful because I was really high up, sort of looking over a balcony – and it was a long way down, and then I dreamt I needed a wee… (water had got to the bladder) – so I had to get up again – so I think I might stick a post-it note to the light switch in the lounge tonight saying “check back door/no water beyond this point”.

Anyway – I don’t need to worry about the exam, because I have, according to the clairvoyant, “someone watching over me” – lets hope they are either Greek, Roman, a historian, or someone who knows all the answers.

I think my trip to the clairvoyant has just proved to me that I am quite cynical. Even though some of the things that were said to me made sense, there were an equal number of messages that other people had that made more sense to me. I’d probably go again, as it was entertaining, and certainly something to think about – but I’m not yet convinced. It did inspire me to spend an evening doing some family tree research, and I hope to do more of that when I am Greek & Roman free – which is frighteningly soon – but I’m keen to get it over with.