Shawn!

The look I’m going for with my hair at the moment is, (sort of), Shirley from Eastenders. Short, blonde, a bit spiky, a bit choppy. That’s not to say that I want her personality or character – just the hair. But, because I didn’t have a photo of her on me when I went to the hairdressers this morning, I asked for exactly what I have asked for the last couple of times I’ve been to get my hair cut. I said: “Quite short, no parting, coming forward – slightly to the right, choppy, spiky, finger dried – a little bit of wax.”

At no point whatsoever did I say: “I’d like it all straight, standing on end – sort of David Bowie when he was in his Ziggy Stardust phase – make me look like I have been hanging upside down in the bat cave for a couple of months – then add enough wax so that if I set fire to it, it will burn for several years – I’m going for the ‘greasy sticky unwashed’ look. Oh and please get the straighteners on it, because that will really accentuate the shit cut.

I like to come out of the hairdressers feeling – well perhaps not a million dollars (especially as it only cost £15.50) – but I’d like to think my hair looked nice enough to be able to go out. What I don’t want is to come out praying I won’t see anyone I know on the way home. It took me about 35 minutes to walk to the hairdressers – but only 20 minutes to get home – even taking into account the slight downward slope – it’s still bloody good going to get back in around half the time! I had to wash it and re-style it as soon as I got in (after taking a couple of photos, which I can’t publish here at the moment as it is way too embarrassing). I’ve cut some stray long bits, put a small amount of wax and hair spray on it, and it looks less of a monumental cock-up. I will not be going back there in a hurry. I need to find another hairdresser – and I really want to dye my hair a radical colour to detract from the shitty cut! I’ll have to see what I can find tomorrow.