Ice sculpting...

Oh yes – ’tis very therapeutic! Just for the record, in case anyone has any doubts – I just LOVE being woken up before 6 am to be told that “someone” has left the freezer door open, and consequently we are now the proud owners of roughly 12 lb of squishy blackberries; enough snow to build a snowman; and a puddle. The door won’t shut because of the icicles – and obviously only a woman can wield an ice-pick at that unearthly hour. I dread to think what he would be like if he lived on his own.

And while I’m on the subject of rude awakenings, he forgot his key last night, so after being asleep for about half an hour I was woken up by incessant doorbell ringing – trouble is, of course, at that time of night/early morning – you don’t exactly leap out of bed to answer the door. By the time I’d woken up enough to realise what it was, located appropriate door-opening clothing, armed myself with a suitably long heavy weapon (OK feather duster probably not the best – but it was either that or a kite as the only other thing I passed) he was well hacked off! He was also quite annoying because when I put the light on at the bottom of the stairs (which most people would treat as a sort of warning that someone was about to open the door and let you in), he decided to walk to the back door and start rattling that. Perhaps he thought I’d walk all the way past the front door to open the back door – I didn’t – however it was quite eerie opening the door to no one. He told me the somewhat unconvincing tale of how he couldn’t find his keys – this was supposed to justify his waking me up? Then he moaned that there wasn’t a key hidden outside (he always says “Don’t keep a key outside, it’s dangerous!”) OK – this is what I think – if he had really ‘lost’ his keys, then surely he would have said something beforehand so that I didn’t lock the door? Also, he could have checked the hiding place before he left and made sure there was a key available. He also added that he didn’t have enough money for the phone box. He would have had difficulty finding one as the nearest one to our house is long gone! And anyway, if the doorbell didn’t wake me immediately it is highly unlikely that the phone would have. I have had an idea though – maybe I should hide the spare key in the freezer, in a big block of ice, with an ice-pick attached to it.

I wonder if he will ever learn that pre-6 am, LEAVE A NOTE! And don’t call me WEND – I have a Y – USE IT.