…spotty and bloated (but that’s another story)…

What I have been doing is thinking about the last three letters of the alphabet, as you do! X – first of all – as in ‘The X-Factor’. I have renamed this ‘The Y-Factor’. Y – or why – does this programme continue each year, getting steadily more dull? Why do all these bloody half-wits who know that they can’t sing really, insist on embarrassing themselves? And, more importantly, why the bloody hell do I keep on watching it? I mean, take yesterday’s programme. The group that came third, they could be renamed “Nice”. Everyone kept going on about what ‘nice’ people they were. I don’t have a problem with ‘nice’ people, I think it’s great – there should be lots more nice people in this world. But the judges said it week in, week out, so that by the end I wanted to throw something very large at the TV. It’s not the ‘nice’ factor is it? If it was, then they would have won. Similarly, it’s not the Weird-Factor either – had it been, then Rhydian would have won. But can I also point out that it’s not the Bland-factor. Yes, the winner (I have already forgotten his name) has a nice voice. But where is the charisma? The sex-appeal, the X?? There was more X in Strictly Come Dancing. Lots more – but even that annoys me. Why do most of the judges insist on shouting all the time? They do have microphones. Shouting is totally unnecessary. Imagine if the News was delivered like that, or Songs of Praise. It would be horrible. But back to X-Factor for a minute, that song – the so called “winning” one – was just awful. Oh and how annoying is it, when someone from Scotland, Wales or Ireland is in it – that bloody awful Louie Walsh has to mention where they are from. Doesn’t matter if the act is rubbish, can’t sing, or has no talent,
“I’m sure everyone in Scotland/Ireland/ Wales/ etc. (never England, have you noticed) will be voting for you.”
Why? Just because someone is Scottish, does that mean they can only like, or vote for, a Scottish singer? If that was the case, wouldn’t English people always win, because there are more people living in England? How refreshing it would have been, when they went live to wherever they were in Wales, had someone in the audience said something like,
“Well, personally I prefer Mr Bland from Scotland, or The Nice group, and I will be voting from them because it’s about talent, not geography, and more to the point, because I know my own mind.”
Anyway, that’s X and Y – on to Z. Z-list “celebrities” in particular. This year I renamed “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here”, “I’m a Nonentity, Get me a Career”, because that’s what it is. The “set” doesn’t look like real jungle to me. My back garden looks wilder. It looks quite a nice place to be. There don’t seem to be too many insects and wild animals. I think they probably put a few rats and the odd spider in, but I think I could live there for a couple of week without feeling the need to drape myself over some ex-Eastenders “star”, who hasn’t done anything since he departed from Albert Square, not even Panto. I don’t know why it’s called “Reality” TV – there is nothing REAL about any of it.