Admiring Mr Titchmarsh...

OK – so I’ve always had this thing about Alan Titchmarsh. He has this air of innocence about him (Yes – I have read his books), but it’s this sort of ‘school boy’ appeal, an untouchable quality. I just want to drag him off into the nearest potting shed and watch him pricking out his seedlings. So, as you can imagine, when I realised I’d forgotten to watch his new programme I was a bit cross with myself for missing it. But JOY! It is repeated today – and it is on as I type. But what is it with nature programmes? I was watching a brilliant bit with hares having a proper “girls fight” very reminiscent of the one between Hugh Grant and Mr Darcy in Brigit Jones. Next time I looked up – they were in the middle of an intimate act that made me feel like I was watching animal porn. Now, Alan is diving – he’s encased in rubber – so ideal viewing for anyone with a celebrity gardeners and rubber fetish – but I must point out – that isn’t me. I rather see him ankle deep in compost and fondling a large tool – like a rake…

Hmm – he’s got badgers nibbling his nuts now. The first shot of the badgers looked quite fake, a bit like glove puppets! Oh he’s just said “goodly” – who says goodly these days – that’s why I like him!! He’s got this way with words – no one can say “damp earth” and “moist soil” quite like he does. He has a very easy voice to listen to, and an infectious enthusiasm.

For me, the highlight of this first episode was the flea-free blonde hedgehogs of Alderney. I really must remember to watch it next week.